I leave a week from today, as you could likely guess from the chaos that is my house, not to mention the chaos that is my mind.
Yes, I’m stressed. Excited. Optimistic. Nervous. Happy. Worried. Unsure. There are all sorts of emotions swirling around as I run errands, divide clothes, determine materials, clean my house, pack my valuables, call my doctors, answer my emails, double-check my to-do list, write my will, organize my closets, winnow my towels, order last minute supplies, purge my pantry…
Yes, I’m stressed. How could I not be? That doesn’t take away from how great it is that I’ll be overseas for the next nine months. I’m always a little frantic before I leave for any length of time; since my long trips are usually about a month, take this to the ninth power and you get a sense.
It will all get done. Or it won’t. Either way, I’m getting on a plane. As long as I have my passport, my laptop and my credit card, I’ll manage (she says as she ponders how to get a winter coat into her suitcase). I do realize that I can buy essentials there, of course; it’s not like I’m going to be living on Mars. I’ve already decided I’ll be fleshing out my winter wardrobe from the local stores; sweaters and boots are just too bulky when every inch of space in the suitcase counts. I like the idea of having what I need when I get there, though, from clothes to toiletries, and figuring out without the impetus of dire necessity how I need to supplement.
This week isn’t packed full of external stuff, I’m glad to say. I had brunch with some girlfriends today, then spent the rest of the day here in the house. For a few hours, I was just running in circles but I finally managed to focus. I have a meeting or two on campus, which is fine since I need to pick up and print out materials on campus anyway, and I’ll get in a little exercise. I’ll spend time with my friends as I can; we have our weekly dinner tomorrow and I’m sure we’ll do something celebratory next weekend.
Rockford and I are working our way toward good-byes, too, of course. In a way, we’ve said what needs to be said – we know how we feel; we know that I’m leaving – but I suppose there are a few conversations still in the wings. I did dinner and a movie with him and the kids last night…..If you ever need to check your importance to the universe, by the way, hang out with an 11-year-old: he said goodnight, I reminded him that I wouldn’t see him until next summer (if ever, but that’s neither here nor there), and he said, “Oh, okay. Night.” Okay, then….and we had some times to ourselves at the end of the evening. Ahem. That rarely happens when the kids are there (as in, once in the 11 months we’ve been dating); I’m not sure what made last night different but I’ll take it!